When the game hurts

'You are like your jackass father, a whacked-out Skimo.'

That's what a 10-year-old minor hockey player said to a nine-year-old player on the ice at a practice a couple of months ago in Labrador City.

Michael, an Atom player, was hurt by the racial comment directed at him and skated immediately to his dad, George, who was coaching at the same practice.

"He was in tears," George recalled his son's approach. "He told me what the boy had said to him and I was pretty upset. I mean that was pretty heavy. But I immediately went and told the other coach who was on the ice and he told me he'd take care of it."

George, who is part Inuit, said the racial slur is very disturbing and especially coming from a boy of such a young age; given that his son shows very little or no characteristics of Inuit.

"You have to wonder where he would get that from," said the dad. "I figured it would be dealt with though and waited to hear something."

'...made me cry'

Michael has been playing hockey since he was four years old and when asked if there had been other occasions where the same boy had said things that weren't very nice, he said, there had been some but this particular one was the worst.

"That was the meanest thing he ever said," said Michael as he recounted that day a couple of months ago. "It was a practice and we were in a line and there was two people in front of me and they were fooling around in the line and lying down on the ice and I moved in front of them and they came over and pushed me back and told me to get to back of the line. I told them I moved because you guys were fooling around. And then he said, 'you are like your jackass father.' I was a bit upset, and he said he was a whacked-out 'skimo. That made me cry. He said his dad hates my dad."

Fair Play

The next week George was in the dressing room helping Michael tie up his skates when he noticed the young boy he had reported was present in the dressing room.

"I was surprised, I figured he would have been suspended from a few practices at least," George said. "There was no apology and nothing done, not even missing a practice. So I talked to the director."

From that, the issue was put in the hands of the Fair Play Committee to be dealt with.

A couple of weeks later, George got word from the chair of the committee, Karen Oldford.

"I got an email from Karen saying they had sat down with the parents of the child and discussed what had happened," he explained the response from the Fair Play Committee. "They didn't deny it happened and I was told the parents were going to talk to the child. That was it. That was all that was going to happen."

George says he feels like the whole thing was taken far too lightly and for the child to not even have to display any remorse for the incident is unacceptable.

"This was a very blatant racial slur and that shouldn't be acceptable in minor hockey or anywhere," said the disappointed father. "The parents are going to talk to him and that's it. He should have been suspended from at least a couple of practices and made to apologize in front of everyone, in my opinion."

Followed guidelines

The Aurora contacted the chair of the committee, Karen Oldford, who did confirm the incident was brought to the attention of the Fair Play Committee. The Committee has a booklet of guidelines and protocols that offer disciplinary measures and fair play codes.

Oldford confirmed the child in question was not suspended, but she said the matter was dealt with in a manner the committee felt was appropriate.

"The guidelines in our booklet uses progressive discipline," she explained. "That goes all the way from having a chat to reinforcing the fair play codes, all the ways up to a suspension."

Oldford explained if an incident is serious enough, suspensions could be put in place on the first complaint.

"If you go back through our history," she explained, "the ones we've suspended on the first instance would have to do with [physical] violence."

Oldford added even adults have been suspended for violence in the arena when children were present. These are types of situations where suspensions were applied immediately.

"Other than that, what we do is work with the individuals involved-we interview both parties-and try to come to a sense of what are the rights of the incident because it is not always clear cut; there are two sides to every story."

In this particular instance the chair said the committee investigated the incident and did get accounts from all sides and anyone who witnessed it.

Not taken lightly

When asked how she'd rate this particular incident, Oldford said it was not taken lightly.

"Anytime there's any racial slur, it's always serious and it's treated as a serious incident," she assured. "Things that happen verbally are just as hurtful sometimes as taking a stick and hitting somebody. We deal with all violence, physical and verbal."

As to whether the committee expects the child to apologize for the racial remark, it's not so clear-cut.

"We tell them it's not tolerable and it never should happen again and for them to apologize," she said. "But sometimes it comes down to there being personality conflicts and sometimes you can get into hot water for trying to apologize to someone who doesn't always want to hear your apology and things can escalate. So it really depends on what we are dealing with."

Because of the young age of the children, Oldford said the committee decided to just discuss it with the parents and leave it to them to deal with it on the first instance.

"If there is a second incident involving the same child, we would bring them back again and decide whether we would go with a verbal or a written letter of apology, all the way up to suspension for a game or two or three games," she added. "The parents told me they were aware of this and the child had told them what he had said. You don't want to blow it up. You want everyone to enjoy the game and it's a balancing act. The protocols are there, but not everyone agrees with it and what's done is not always what they want."

Oldford said the committee is made up of very knowledgeable people including the regional director for Child, Youth and Family Services, the regional Family Resources director as well as parents of minor hockey players.

Committee failed

The committee, in George's opinion, has failed his son.

"In my mind, they are ineffective," he said of the Fair Play Committee. "I grew up here playing hockey in Labrador West and it was more competitive back then than it is now, but I can tell you, there was none of this stuff going on. There should be one rule for all."

As for Michael, he thinks the boy who said the mean things to him probably should have to miss some practices and apologize for what he said, and the nine-year old weighs in with his own reasons why.

"Because what if a younger kid heard him saying this stuff? They might think it's okay to say that," said Michael.

In the meantime, Michael is not going to let it kill his spirit for the game. He is getting ready for some exciting hockey coming up for the rest of the season. He has been selected to play with the provincial X-treme Team and to travel to Toronto for a tournament, and he will be suiting up with a team from Fredericton to play in Moncton, Quebec City and Boston.

Note: The names (father and son) have been changed in this story in the interest of protecting the identity of the minor child involved.